We’ve all been in seasons where we’ve had to wait on the Lord. Waiting is nothing new, but why does it hurt every time as if it’s the first time? Why do we never get used to it?
You start questioning and doubting what God said to you or about you. You start questioning God’s word e.g. whether He really loves you as the word says He does or whether He really forgives you when you repent or if He is so angry with you that He is going to punish you forever because waiting can feel like punishment. Another truth is, uncertainty can drain you.
If you hit a wall too many times, you begin to question whether it’s worth trying again. You start believing that failure is inevitable no matter what you try and no matter how many times you try.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.Proverbs 13:12
The truth is, hope keeps us going because you remain expectant for the best. You hold onto the expectation that eventually “it” will come (whatever “it” is) and that it will work out. Hopelessness, in other words, losing that expectation, is poisonous because it affects other areas as well. It affects your peace, joy, how you pray, even your will and desire to live.
It hurts to die to your will
The Lord expects us to die to self but the truth is, it hurts to do so. It hurts to give up your will in exchange for submitting to His will. It hurts to relinquish control and not know the when or how of how things will happen.
So what should you do?
Ask yourself, what else can you do? Where else can you go to find guaranteed help? Where else can you run to? The truth is (feelings aside), we know that we can’t run away from the waiting. God won’t fast track the process and get us out prematurely because that will destroy us.
So what you do is you DECIDE that no matter what, you don’t leave his presence. If all you do there is cry, it’s okay, just don’t leave. Hold on to the hem of his garment (Matthew 9:20-22)